My excuse was the marathon.
Twenty-six-point-two miles through one of the prettiest towns in the
American South. On the morning of my
forty-fourth birthday, no less. I
boasted of it. I told all of my
friends. I dropped the word like loose
change on any who might listen. Marathon. Three little syllables that evoked
cardiovascular health. Clean
living. A conviction that within the
great breast of the world there does not
beat the heart of an assassin. Marathon. I wielded the word with the blunt-force
prodigality of a Soviet propagandist. Marathon.
Because my real mission was to pursue its opposite. It’s anathema. My true aim was gluttony. Culinary debauchery. The intemperance of a birthday boy so very
deep in his cups. Because this
particular marathon was happening in one of the most interesting—and increasingly
important—centers of American gastronomy.
Charleston.
I’ve long been aware (if only too dimly) that something of culinary significance was
happening here. One routinely hears “Husk”
and “Fig” bandied around culinary Washington.
So, too, are names like “Sean Brock” and “McCrady’s” well-enough known inside
the Beltway. But there’s also a deep disconnect
between the sleepy, Southern Washington of yore, and the city that now more
closely resembles its frenetic neighbors to the north. Culinary Washington is a place of extravagant
gastronomic ambition. Here, chefs use
New York as their touchstone. Or San
Francisco. Chicago, perhaps. Rarely do District chefs look southward for
inspiration. Even more rarely does the
mention of Charleston raise a foodie’s gastronomic mainsail to attention like Momofuku, Alinea, or Per Se might
make him pop that proverbial foodie boner.
So it wasn’t until a client’s wedding at Middleton
Plantation brought me to Charleston last June, that I divined something deeply
important to American cooking was afoot in “Chucktown.” This I first discovered—quite by accident—in
a restaurant named The Macintosh. Nothing
more extraordinary than the desire for a cold, third-shift beer brought a few
of my coworkers and me there. The choice
of restaurants was randomly made. The
Macintosh had a bar, we saw. And food (if
a palpable vibe of too-swank-for-industry-types-by-half). But we were wrung out from our day under the
South Carolina sun. Sweat-soaked to our
underwear and desperately in need of beer.
So in we went. Air conditioning
and beautiful people in candlelight as far as the eye could see. The good folks of The Macintosh showed us to
the bar. They gave us menus. They brought drinks. They were extremely nice. Bar food du
jour like burgers and wings were what we had expected, but we were
quickly—and all-too-happily—disabused of the notion that anything they offered
would resemble the quotidian. The
Macintosh offered—then, as now—a menu both ruthlessly forward-looking, while
still evoking all the comforts of the Southern home kitchen. We fist-bumped to our good fortune, and very
nearly ordered the entire menu. Corned
beef tongue. Bone marrow bread
pudding. Sweatbreads. Fried pork brik dough. Grilled deckle. Rudderfish.
Hot and sour pork belly soup.
Pecornino truffle frites. Whipped
foie gras parfait topped with lardo. It
went on and on and on. Dish after
dish. Almost three hours of eating. What started as a quest for beer quickly
turned into a meal of epic proportions.
Belts were loosened. Neck ties
undone. And smiles all around from
eaters scarcely able to comprehend the scale of their culinary good
fortune. Something was happening in
culinary Charleston, we agreed, something of importance to American gastronomy,
something big.
But what, exactly?
Only a return trip of culinary due diligence would provide
answers, we knew. Only an intensive
schedule of heavy eating and drinking would reveal the Southern food wisdoms
secreted in Charleston’s culinary heart.
So in January, back I went.
By myself. Because I had my
excuse. I had the marathon.
Day One - Lunch - Martha Lou’s Kitchen
To discover where a city is going is to first discover from
whence it came. And for culinary
Charleston, that place is Martha Lou’s Kitchen.
Foundational. Elemental. Iconic.
For thirty years now, Martha Lou Gadsden has been nourishing Charleston—mind,
body, and soul—with a culinary playlist of the South’s all-time greatest
hits. Not just soul food, mind you, but veritable
gospels and anthems to a tradition of gastronomic greatness which none in the South
ever tire of revisiting. Fried pork chops. Lima beans.
Cornbread. Foods of the gods.
My plane landed at lunchtime.
I drove with my foot on the gas like a man being chased by
bees.
Martha Lou’s is, in the parlance of local Charlestonians, a sight.
Think roadhouse. Think commercial
kitchen little bigger than your own bedroom closet. Think pink,
and you’ll have the idea. But like so many
great things, Martha Lou’s is somehow infinitely greater than the sum of its
parts. Sit in the tiny dining room. Feel the sticky remains of sweet tea across
the plastic table covering. Gaze at the
totems to the civil rights era, on the walls, in curio shelves in the near
corner. MLK. Obama.
Enjoy the unfailingly polite—if deeply curious—are-you-lost-son glances of working-class, middle-aged African-American
men, and all memories of “post-racial” America will have left you. For you, now, are most assuredly situated at
the epicenter of the American South, my friend.
Martha Lou’s is all about black culture.
It’s about the celebration of a people—their folkways, their
traditions—through a medium that ultimately transcends that which it
sings. Which is why I was made to feel
perfectly at home by the lone cook the morning of my visit. That same lone cook, who was also now doubling
as the lone waiter. And with a
half-filled dining room to cook for and serve, a cook who was clearly in the
weeds. Deeply. But she touched me every time she
passed. My arm. My hand.
She called me “honey.” She called
me “boo.” When it came time to order, I forgave
her the wait for the way she smiled. For the way
she made me feel like the still point of her turning world. I ordered.
Soon a Styrofoam plate
was set before me. It brimmed with
Southern classics. Fried chicken. Green beans.
Collard greens. Corn bread. A death-row kind of meal. The kind of meal one orders before being
strapped into an electric chair by some prison warden to be shuffled off this
mortal coil. What made it so
extraordinary was not the fried chicken. It was the sides. The sides.
To taste them was to win the inheritance of a lineage of black Southern
cooks five, maybe ten, generations deep.
In a lifetime of eating beans and greens, I had never tasted anything quite
like them. I slurped. I sucked.
I tried—and mightily—to tease out and isolate what was going on in my
mouth. Bacon? Surely. Cayenne? Perhaps.
But there was something more at play.
Something at once simple, and extraordinarily complex. String theory would have been more easily
grasped. Causation in determinism as it
relations to the “prime mover.”
Cartesian dualism. Conceptually,
these famously big ideas paled in complexity when juxtaposed with what the fuck
was going on inside the potlikker of Martha Lou’s greens. I had to know. So I raised my hand. Impatiently.
Like a schoolboy who has to pee.
And when the cook came over to my table, I asked her. I asked what, exactly, was the magical
ingredient in her greens. The look she
gave me suggested I wasn’t the first to have so badly blundered. The look wasn’t so much a smile. It was forgiveness. Benediction.
She closed her eyes. Then she
opened them, shook her head, and offered to freshen up my tea.
Dinner – Two Boroughs Larder
Carbo-loading is a time-honored tradition among
long-distance runners. The night before
a race, we stuff mounds of enriched pasta and red sauce (dairy fat in
cream-based sauces famously have runners freckling the walls of the race-course’s port-o-johns)
into our gobholes on the theory that foods with low glycemic indices will have
little effect—during the race—on our serum glucose levels. More simply put, the complex sugars in pasta
will burn cleanly and act as fuel. But
the idea of sitting down with other runners—usually at picnic tables in a civic
area or high school gym—and laboring through a spaghetti dinner prepared by
“race volunteers” has always given me pause.
So I bailed on the Charleston Marathon’s kind offer of Chef
Boyardee. Instead, I sought out—and
found—the perfect spot to get my pasta on.
Two Boroughs Larder is the kind of place you wished existed
in your very own neighborhood. The kind
of place that makes you want to be a restaurant
regular. The kind of place that is also aesthetically
antipodal to Martha Lou’s. Exposed brick
walls. Wood floors. And the vibe:
utterly unpretentious.
Effortlessly hip. Emblematic of casual dining in the coastal New
South. But for all its easy elegance, entering
Two Boroughs Larder is like putting on an old smoking jacket. It’s like slipping into a warm bath. It’s comfortable. It feels right. I arrived early and sat at the bar. The menu glittered with gastronomically
forward-thinking dishes of perfect proteins.
Black cod collar. Tuna conserva. Beef belly tartar. All delicious-sounding, for sure. But all of it sadly retrograde for my need
for complex sugars. My bartender
understood my runner’s plight and began plying me with a can or three of
carbo-dense One Claw Rye Pale Ale, brewed just across the river, in Mount
Pleasant, by the good folks at Westbrook Brewing Company. Soon after came my food. Not just the food I wanted, but food I really
and truly needed. There was braised baby kale with pepperoncini
and garlic. There were roasted Brussels
sprouts with soubise and salumi vanaigrette.
And for my obligatory spike-a-vein-and-give-me-pasta-before-the-marathon
dish came their famous Bowl-O-Noodle—that decidedly Charlestonian riff on
Taiwanese ramen: pork confit, house
noodles, soft egg, and kimchi, in broth.
Not just any broth, mind you. Pork
broth. I bellied up to the bar and took
a bite. It was delicious. But more importantly for the eaters of
Charleston, I contend, was the fact that this bowl before me represented the
pitch-perfect Southern appropriation of—and response to—the ever-increasing
influence of Asian cooking on American gastronomy. That Two Boroughs would pair house-made,
Taiwanese-style noodles with a flavor profile as incontrovertibly Southern as
pork broth suggested the apotheosis of fusion
cooking in America, and that the American South—practiced for centuries in
the assimilation and refinement of profoundly disparate culinary
traditions—would be the place where this happened.
Here.
In Charleston.
Inside a bowl of noodles.
Day Two – Breakfast
As far as food crimes go, this was my greatest transgression
this trip: a pre-race strawberry
“waffle” of wheat flour and honey, carefully calibrated to tweak this runner’s
blood sugar without unduly yoking me under, say, an ill-advised sausage patty,
or cheesy eggs. Because the marathoner
who consorts with more-than-scant-amounts of fat and dairy before a race is the
runner whom you’ll later encounter, on his hands and knees at mile 17,
projectile vomiting across the race course, crying for his mama. I’ve seen that before, and suffice it to say
it made quite the impression. So I
forewent the temptations of “real” food until after the race. Bananas.
Gatorade. Bagels. These are the foodstuffs typically (if
indifferently) foisted on runners after we’ve crossed the finish line, and
that’s precisely what I expected for breakfast upon finishing this marathon. But not in Charleston. Not in the American South. Here, finishers were lavished with morning
beer and helpings of shrimp and grits.
Fare proffered as true reward for a race well run. Fare as proclamation, edict, and decree that
in Charleston, what you eat matters.
Always. Even after a silly
footrace.
Dinner - Xiao Bao Biscuit
I slept through lunch.
I slept like the dead. And when I
woke, in the late afternoon, with the last of the day’s light paling across the
winter sky, I was ravenous. Starving. Donner-Party hungry. So I took off on foot, resolved to eat in the
first place I encountered. Lucky
me. That place happened to be the extraordinary
Xiao Bao Biscuit, just two blocks from my hostel. Housed in an erstwhile gas station, Xiao Bao
Biscuit more fully explores (e.g.: confronts) the ideas of pan Asian influence on
Charleston’s local cuisine first posited in my bowl of noodles the previous
night. Xiao Bao bills itself as “Asian
soul” food. It also bills a dish or two
on its menu as “kick ass” spicy. Xiao
Bao is all that. It’s also where flavor
lives. Thai dishes. Chinese.
Vietnamese. Each dish an umami
bomb set for immediate detonation upon eating.
I sat at the bar, party of one, but flanked on either side by
out-of-town runners still giddy with that much-coveted post-race endorphin high. I ordered the Sichuan ribs. I ordered Yu Xiang (fish-fragrant Brussels
sprouts via done Sichuan style). I ordered
beer. The woman seated left of me
ordered Som Tam (green papaya salad) and Okonomiyaki (cabbage pancake), while
the group of ladies to my right ordered the lamb belly and Banh He (chive
fritter crepe), and soon enough I found myself at the center of an impromptu family-style
dining experience. Plates were passed
back and forth. Forks traveled left and
right. My companions and I ate. We wiped our brows. We chugged our beers. We smiled and laughed. The food of Xiao Bao was extraordinary. It was also remarkably intense. Almost audacious in its dose of seasoning. An implied “fuck you” to any diminution of
authentic Pan Asian flavors, no matter how raucous they might play on the
uninitiated palates of local Charlestonians, seemed to be the message encrypted
in every bite. And for all of the happy
demands the food of Xiao Bao put on its eaters (the spice level did, I confess,
prove too daunting for the woman to my left), nowhere was the implication that
the food was trying to be anything it wasn’t.
Nowhere was the whiff of attempted “authenticity.” Nowhere was there any insinuation that what I
was eating was anything other than the product of a few, deeply talented white,
Southern cooks riffing—wholly successfully—on an eclectic playlist of Asian
B-sides they’d been lucky enough to stumble across in a friend’s garage. One look at my newest dining companions, and
I knew they were thinking the same thing:
that food this exciting, this good, could come from an erstwhile gas
station was not insignificant for Southern eaters.
This meant something.
This was big.
Day Three – Brunch – The Taco Spot
There are a few tried-and-true ways runners recover from the
rigors of a marathon. Ibuprofen. Water.
Ice packs. Rest. There is also one particular way a runner can
further aggravate the injuries done to him in a 26.2-mile race: drink a small bottle of Bulleit American
Rye. That’s what I did. A half-pint of the stuff. The inevitable hangover that followed was
brain searing in its intensity.
Blinding. Vice-like in its
grip. A self-induced skull buggery of
epic proportions. I’m a drinker, and
yet, I had only myself to blame. The antidote
was food, I knew, whose calorically-dense grease content would be directly
proportional to the rate of my recovery.
I needed protein. I needed
fat. Guiding my late-breakfast quest as
well was the knowledge that Charleston is full of institutions of higher
learning. Charleston Southern
University. Charleston School of
Law. College of Charleston. Catering to that post-kegger,
don’t-bogart-that-joint, I’m-so-stoned-I-drank-the-bong-water student
population are any number of eateries, where the cuisine to the cognitively impaired
is always on the menu. So it was that I
found the Taco Spot. A tiny
walkup/takeaway on Coming Street with room enough for hardly more than one ordering
customer at a time, the Taco Spot walks that culinary tightrope of
Anglo-owned/operated Mexican-style restaurants that try, with invariably mixed
results, to be simultaneously progressive and traditional in their
approach. Here, “wraps” are
offered. Pomegranate Jerk Sauce is a
component on their Caribbean pico. Teriyaki
appears. Grilled pineapple basil relish
is an option. My own fish taco came with
cilantro soy aioli; my chicken taco was dressed with cayenne ranch. Hungover as I was, this bothered me, and out
of all proportion. But why? Had not my most recent meals shown me that
Charleston was relentlessly forward thinking in its appropriation of so-called
“ethnic” cuisine? Had I not come to
understand that local chefs were happily playing heretic to the old-world
orthodoxies of “authenticity?” And were
not the owner/operators of the Taco Spot demonstrating remarkable savvy in
tailoring the flavor profiles of their menu to the I-might-be-twenty-but-I-know-more-about-food-than-you-do
demographic of collegiate eater? They
were. What bothered me about my
experience at the Taco Spot was not the food, which, on balance, was perfectly
fine. It was something else. It was how
the food was made, and by whom. For
while all of my meals in Charleston had—up until now—been made by professionals
demonstrably passionate about striving for culinary greatness, my sock-headed,
half-bearded hipster cook (whose response to this appears in the comment section below) at the Taco Spot had assembled—and delivered—my tacos
with palpable I’m-too-cool-for-school nonchalance. He called me “dude.” He called me “man.” All in the same short sentence. And this bothered me. Because if thirteen years in the food
industry has taught me anything, it’s that “cool” has no place in the kitchen. It’s either go hard, or go home, boy-o. Because “cool” shows up in cooking as
indifference. Because you can taste it,
even in a taco. And indifference never
tastes good. Ever.
Dinner – The Ordinary
I had no intention of eating here. That the Ordinary bills itself as a “fancy” seafood
and oyster hall initially put the kibosh on that. “Fancy” being antithetical to my mission as
an eater. But a chance encounter with a
fellow traveler changed my mind. His
name was Evan, and I met him in the communal kitchen of the youth hostel at
which we were both staying. He was at
the sink, sharpening a CIA-issue chef’s knife on a wet stone with the kind of
brooding, stoop-shouldered intensity one sees in ambitious young cooks. I walked over and introduced myself. We spoke.
He told me he was from Boston and had been staging in any Charleston kitchen
that would have him. His run of
Charleston gastronomic institutions had been impressive: Husk.
McCrady’s. The Macintosh. Evan had staged in them all. Now, only The Ordinary remained. And this made him nervous. Very. Because
the euphemism used around town to describe the chef’s temperament was demanding. And because the restaurant was new, and his
every move would be scrutinized, even if he was working for free. I told him not to worry. I told him I had his back. I told him I would be there to cheer him on. So the following night, visit Evan at The
Ordinary I did. He was shucking oysters. He saw me come in, and he smiled. I waved and took a stool at the bar and did
what was expected of me. I ordered the ordinary: a weekly, rotating list of daily
specials. With it being Sunday, I was
given the fried fish: a three-course
prix fixe (salad, entrĂ©e, dessert) paired with a porter of the bartender’s
choosing. Everything I ate was delicious. And it should have been. Because it was expensive. Thirty-five dollars for three plates of food. Nine bucks for the beer. Not killer price points in a town where eating
can be an expensive proposition, but clearly out of reach of Charleston’s laboring
classes. But that shouldn’t matter,
should it? Pricing at The Ordinary is
hardly the point. The Ordinary is fancy. It is
swank. It’s Charleston at its upscale best:
an erstwhile old bank turned seafood emporium whose aesthetic marches in
perfect lockstep with the simple sophistication of its food. The Ordinary is elegance without the
affectation. It’s culinary refinement
without any seemingly requisite foodie nerdism, and altogether a truly lovely
place to dine.
Day Four – Lunch – Hominy Grill
I did this on purpose.
I saved Hominy Grill for my last meal in Charleston. Why?
Because I knew with perfect certainty that my meal here would be among
the best of the trip.
And it was.
But for none of the reasons I expected.
Because Hominy Grill is deeply and self-consciously Southern, and their self-mandated mission
as culinary curators of locally sacrosanct low-country classics, I anticipated
the possibility of it being rife with what local Charlestonians would call cornpone (re: hokey), and what visiting urbanites might recognize as “preciousness” and
deem “too-cute-by-half.” What I found,
however, was a cheerfully hospitable neighborhood eatery (clean and well-lit, as
they say) whose purveyance of Southern gastronomy strikes, and perfectly, that
ever elusive and all-too-rare balance of seeming casual about an otherwise
deeply serious, even personal, quest to preserve and prorogate time-honored
Southern foodways and culinary traditions.
To discover how well Hominy Grill has succeeded in this mission, I
ordered what the Hominy Grill calls their “vegetable plate,” and what the rest
of the world calls sides. Side dishes.
Four of them. Plus cornbread. God forbid I should omit that. Because the word side in Southern cooking is a misnomer, they are hardly that. They are
the very essence of the region’s cuisine and best represent, front and center, heart
and soul, the Southern custom of the vegetable
being at the center of any Southern plate, with proteins (mostly second-cuts and
offal) being used primarily as flavoring agents, or relegated to serving only
as a complimentary part of the meal. The
six-ounce chicken breast, the twelve-ounce ribeye: these are the culinary aberrations wrought by
the modern industrial farming complex and a conquering Northern
sensibility. Visit any Southern holiday
gathering, any Southern church social, and you will undoubtedly encounter
impromptu buffets loaded with a veritable cornucopia of sides rendered with all variety of technique, and in all
manner of deliciousness.
So I ordered my four side dishes. Lima beans.
Field peas. Stewed okra and tomatoes. Collard greens.
What to say of these?
I say this: each side dish was a
minor miracle in achieving the sublime.
Each perfectly represented that magic Southern alchemy of teasing culinary magnificence from what one might cultivate in a rural garden and coax
out of the hard and unforgiving ground of those hardscrabble, alluvial, coastal flats. This was food of the profoundly poor, refined by
tradition and elevated--by time and technique--to true culinary heights; the perfect summation of all
that is immemorially golden and good in Southern gastronomy. All of that, right there on the table before
me, generations of cooking tradition at the tip of my fork.
Not to mention Hominy Grill’s cornbread was among the best I
have yet tasted.
So when I next start blathering on and on about training for the Charleston marathon, you’ll know it’s all subterfuge, an act of misdirection,
bullshit in the extreme. You’ll know I’m
going to Charleston to eat, to drink, and to embrace all that is great and good
in this jewel of the American South
See you at the finish.